I'm back
by Ren'ai Tsuki
Summary: Skulduggery's back. Reunions galore, but then Guild gets kidnapped again? possible chance for a bit of romance.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Skulduggery woke up with a start. He was lying on hard ground. He groaned and put a hand to his head. His hand was cold. His vision was beginning to clear and he began to see shapes. Standing around him were the people he had been longing to see for ... how long had it been? He didn't believe it. Ghastly was kneeling beside him open mouthed. He helped Skulduggery sit up to look at everyone else, all of whom seemed to be mimicking Ghastly's surprised expression.

"What?" he asked. Actually now surprised didn't seem cover it. Shocked, horrified and scared was probably closer to it. China put a hand to her mouth. Now Skulduggery was a little taken aback. Since when had China been at a loss for words? Never. Probably the reason they got on so well. Sort of.

Valkyrie ran to Skulduggery's side and hugged him, tears in her eyes. He didn't know! Skulduggery hugged her back. But as he put his arm around her he saw his hand and gasped. It had skin. Pale white skin. He pushed Valkyrie away gently to look at himself more thoroughly. His clothes were stretching over his thighs where his trousers had become too tight. His shirt too. He was human again? He put a hand to his head where he felt hair. Pulling it down to his line of vision, he saw it was the colour of night, as long as it had been when Serpine had killed him. Was he alive?

Kenspeckle Grouse appeared just as the question came into his head. He felt the side of Skulduggery's neck for a pulse and the breath caught in his throat. _Thump, thump, thump, thump ._Apart from a cut along his cheek, Skulduggery seemed perfectly fine. Healthy. Alive, even.

"You're coming back to the Cinema," he said gruffly.

"Honestly Professor I feel fine," Skulduggery protested. He tried to stand up. His legs were stiff and didn't seem ready to take his weight but he was not going to stay in a damn hospital bed now. I'm alive, thought. What point is there staying in bed when i have escaped Death yet again?

"No, Detective," Kenspeckle shoved a hypodermic needle inot the back of Skulduggery's knee. Skulduggery collapsed in a heap within milliseconds. "That is something I have wanted to do for two long centuries..."

Valkyrie thought about protesting but she was just as curious, if not more curious than the professor, as to how Skulduggery was alive again, never mind up and around. She grabbed Skulduggery's hat off the soggy earth and followed the others to Ghastly's van.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter One of a New Life.

Skulduggery woke up, in comfort this time. The back of his head lying on soft pillows rather than the side of his face pressed into wet grass. He looked around for something familiar, to tell him where he was. The IV drip and the unfamiliar _beep, beep_ off the heart monitor (was that his heart??) gave it away. He was at Kenspeckle's labs.

But how he got here in the first place lay the mystery. Not how he got to the lab itself, but how he got _here_, in the world he had been so used to, where he had lived for nearly two and a half centuries. After being in the realm of the Faceless Ones for he didn't know how long. It had felt like the seconds had dragged into hours and the hours into weeks. He couldn't possibly calculate the length of that time he had been in that hell.

He was jerked back to the present by a sudden movement in the room. Grouse had stormed into the room muttering incoherently. The only word Skulduggery could make out was 'porridge'.

"So, Professor," Skulduggery began light-heartedly with a smile on his face. "What's the verdict? Can i go? Does my body come up to standards?" Skulduggery grinned, something he hadn't been able to do in a long time. Innuendo never sounded right when you had no changing facial expressions. It felt good to be able use it again.

But the professor wasn't listening. He was frowning at Skulduggery's vitals on the screen before him. He took out the IV drip and looked at the screen again, clearly expecting it to change. By the look on his face, Skulduggery deduced that the result did not.

"This isn't right..." Grouse stared at the screen and took a few notes onto his clip board.

The grin was wiped off Skulduggery's face queer and quick. "What's wrong?" he asked, leaning to look at the screen. "I'm not dead again, am I?"

Grouse looked at him briefly and took Skulduggery's pulse at his neck and then at his wrist. He stared at the screen and counted as he did so.

"Professor?"

"What?"

"What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing," he looked at Skulduggery as if he were a puzzle that he couldn't figure out. "That's the problem. There should be something wrong with you... You haven't slept, eaten, breathed in nearly two centuries and now you're perfectly healthy, perfectly fit. Just as if you had never died at all. It's not right."

"Oh right..." Skulduggery thought on this a moment. "Does that mean I can go now?" He swung his legs over the side of the bed once again marvelling at his regained muscles and skin.

"No its does not Detective Pleasant!" Kenspeckle pulled out yet another hypodermic syringe. Skulduggery pushed at the air (while briefly wondering where the Professor was keeping these and if they were _all_ for this eventuality. The syringe hit the floor harmlessly.

"Sorry Professor, but i need to get out." Skulduggery waved and walked out of the room.

His clothes had been hung neatly in a closet that he had been directed to by Cerya, the Professor's newest assistant. A pretty blonde girl but Skulduggery could tell by the look in her eyes she wasn't playing with a full deck of cards.

Grabbing the hanger, he looked at the clothes. They weren't his. He was about to call Cerya but his natural curiosity crept to the fore. He checked the pockets for some identification. His hand grasped a scrap of paper. He unfolded and almost keeled over again as his hands (skin _and_ muscles if you don't mind) unfolded the paper. He smiled as he mouthed the words with his newly regained lips.

Skulduggery,

Rifling through the pockets of other people's suits, are we? Don't worry this one's yours. You know all i need is one look. Your gun is on the hanger and your phone is in the inside pocket.

Signed

_Ghastly_

They fit perfectly. The trousers were black with a deep blue pinstripe with matching jacket and a crisp white shirt with n open neck collar. He had never been able to wear open neck collars when they first came into fashion because you would have been able to see his ribcage. Not the nicest of sights, even for Skulduggery himself.

Now where's my Bentley? He thought.

Leaving the cinema, he took out his phone. He scanned his phonebook realising he had no idea who to call. Not Valkyrie, not yet. He didn't know why but he just couldn't face her yet. How was he supposed to thank her enough? China? No. Again. Again he didn't know why... Eachan Meritorious? Okay there was a number he could delete. Ghastly? He'd probably been safe guarding his Bentley since he ... left. He hit the green button.

"That's fine," Ghastly said after listening to Skulduggery. "I'll bring the Bentley around to the cinema and I'll give you your new suits I've had made since you've gotten back."

"Okay," Skulduggery replied revelling in the prospect of new clothes. He was such a woman when it came to looking well. "I'm not going anywhere." _Unless Kenspeckle comes at me with another hypodermic..._ he added to himself.

Ghastly arrived ten minutes later. Skulduggery admired the Bentley like a long lost friend. The black car swept around the corner barely making a sound as it pulled up. Ghastly had kept it so clean. Skulduggery saw his reflection in the bonnet as the car stopped. This was the first time he'd seen himself properly. His skin was as pale as it had been before the war and his black hair was in the same style. Although the reflection in the car was skewed, he knew his blue eyes were back in their place as well.

The car door slammed as Ghastly got out of the car. Unlike when Ghastly had transformed back from a statue, the two embraced without hesitation. Ghastly noted how different it was hugging a skeleton than an actual human being. They made small talk while Skulduggery looked under the bonnet of the Bentley, checking everything was in order. Ghastly didn't take offense. This car was Skulduggery's baby. Skulduggery made his way to the boot and lifted up the lid as a loud growling erupted.

Skulduggery panicked. "Is that my car?!"

Ghastly laughed and placed his hands on Skulduggery's shoulders to calm him. He peered into his eyes jokingly. "Skul, have you eaten?"

Skulduggery was about to shoot back an answer as per usual but caught himself. Had he? Jesus, when was the last time he'd eaten...? Skulduggery's confusion gave away to utter longing. Ghastly caught the look and steered him to the car door.

"C'mon, Eddie Rockets it is," Ghastly grinned.


	3. Chapter 3

**At Eddie's**

"So how long was I gone?" Skulduggery asked, eager to be filled in on everything that had happened.

"You don't know?" Ghastly's eyes widened. Skulduggery shook his head as he grabbed a chip. "Just a little less than two years... You taught Valkyrie well."

"Jesus these are good..." Skulduggery muttered. "I never understood the hype. And of course I taught her well. How else was I going to teach her?"

Ghastly laughed. He had known Skulduggery for the guts of two centuries. It was good to know nothing had changed his outlook on life. He was still amazingly optimistic and not to mention arrogant. If that had somehow been stripped away the only two emotions that Skulduggery would have been able to show would have been rage and the unimaginable grief of losing his wife and child all those years ago. Ghastly was relieved he hadn't changed.

"I'm not used to this hair malarkey anymore," Skulduggery said, managing to sound irritated and pleased at the same time. He tied his hair back with an elastic band he had grabbed from Cerya's desk back at the cinema. "So as we were saying before we were sidetracked by my brilliance- Anything interesting happen? End of the world plots? New hairstyles? Important celebrity deaths? Any new Elders? That sort of thing." He ticked them off on his fingers.

"End of the world plots? No. Not quite. Maybe 'end-of-our-way-of-life-as-we-know-it'. Yes, there definitely was one of those. After that there were... hairstyles. Not that I can put my finger on. Michael Jackson died. And Guild is still the only Elder after Bliss' death," Ghastly took a breath allowing Skulduggery to absorb all the information.

"Michael Jackson's dead?"

"Yeah."

"Homicide, suicide or natural causes?"

"They're thinking homicide on a Monday. Accidental homicide on a Tuesday. Aided suicide on a Wednesday and suicide on a Thursday. The rest of the week the authorities just speculate."

"I see... so Crux is heading up this investigation I take it?"

They both laughed.

"So what's going on with Guild's finest anyway? Bet he's ecstatic to hear I'm back."

"Yeah probably. He's in jail."

Skulduggery's eyes widened. "Why?!"

"I'm not allowed to say- it's about the 'end-of-our-way-of-life-as-we-know-it' thingy. Tanith and Valkyrie would kill me if i told you without them."

"Couldn't you just give me the Cliff Notes version?"

"Nope. Not even if I wanted to."

"Where is Tanith?" Her name reminding Skulduggery that he _had_ been gone for nearly two years.

"At the English ambassador's Sanctuary. She's finally getting her reward for catching Spring-Heeled Jack."

"But he escaped, didn't he?"

"Hence the reason it's taken so long."

"I see," Skulduggery rubbed his chin. A habit he had completely forgotten about. Quickly he was grinning again. As a detective, disguises sort of came with the territory, but he was glad he could finally step outside in the daylight without a scarf, sunglasses, hat and a wig. "So when'll she be done?"

"Well she'll probably head over when she hears you're out of hospital. You should also see Valkyrie. She's going out with Fletcher Renn now you know?"

Skulduggery nodded. "I guessed it'd happen sooner or later. He's the only other magical teenager she knows. How are her powers coming?"

"Can't say," Ghastly said simply.

Skulduggery sat back, his meal finished. He looked at Ghastly incredulously and folded his arms. _He's getting used to gesticulation again_, Ghastly thought.

"Right Ghastly," Skulduggery half smiled and allowed his voice to drip with scepticism. "What can you say?"

"I can say that we could go back to yours, grab some beers get pissed out of our skulls and when we come to it'll be tomorrow and time to see Valkyrie and Tanith. What do you say?"

"I say where's the nearest off-license. I always wanted to try Alco-pops."

* * *

Oh my God guys. Thank you so much for the great comments. I was nearly crying when i found out people liked what i wrote. So i would like to say that this chapter is dedicated to those people who gave those amazing reviews. But please constructive criticism is always welcome. Again thank you!

Yours Rena'i Tsuki

x


	4. Chapter 4

"End-Of-Our-Way-Life-As-We-Know-It" thingy

"Therefore the parallelogram is made of four ninety degree angles... I think."

Valkyrie put her pen down and massaged her hand. There had to be an easier way to do this torture that is her homework. Her reflection doing it was admittedly marginally better but she still had to suffer through the memory of having a cramped hand and the confusion that came with these damn theorems. But there was another reason she'd never use the reflection from her wardrobe again. She shivered at the memory of the chaos it had caused the last time.

She leant back in her swivel chair and jumped as her phone rang. She picked it up and looked at the display screen. _Ghastly_. She hit the green button.

"Hello?"

But instead of the light-hearted deep tones of Ghastly Bespoke, another voice answered. A silky smooth, cultured male voice.

"Hello Valkyrie. I hear yourself and Tanith have an epic tale to tell."

"Hey Skulduggery," she smiled. "Yes we do as a matter of fact. Had Ghastly told you anything?"

"No," a slightly irritable tone crept into his voice but Valkyrie could hear the smile. "I have considered thumbscrews and other various forms of torture but i figured calling you would be less messy."

"Speaking of which, why are you calling on Ghastly's phone?"

"Dramatic effect."

Valkyrie waited.

"My phone died okay?"

Valkyrie laughed. He hadn't changed. "So where do you want to meet?"

"Ghastly's. There's food there as far as i know. Will we pick you up?"

"No its okay I'll call Fletcher," she said and hung up.

Minutes later Fletcher Renn was standing in her room, his hair the immaculate mess as always. They kissed briefly and teleported to Bespoke Tailors.

They arrived ahead of Skulduggery and Ghastly. As always it was raining in the heart of Dublin. Valkyrie drew her hood over her head and Fletcher (who _never_ wore hooded tops) stood in a piece of shelter that failed as a shelter. It had no 'raison d'être' as Skulduggery put it. She smiled. Valkyrie had managed to persuade Fletcher to stop teleporting straight into people's houses. Valkyrie could hear him grumbling over the pitter patter of the rain drops. They became alert as they heard the low growl of a motorbike approaching.

The motorbike pulled up and a young woman swung her legs over the side and kicked the stand on one swift sleek movement. If Valkyrie tried and practised for a thousand years, she would never have been able to pull that move of as gracefully. Unless landing on her arse qualified as graceful, she added in her head.

The woman pulled off her darkened helmet to reveal a familiar flow of dark blonde hair and slightly tanned complexion. She had the sort of tom-boy beauty people paid for. Her name was Tanith Low, freelance bounty hunter from London.

"Hey Val," she greeted Valkyrie with a hug. She turned to Fletcher and gave him a hug as well. "What's going on Fletcher?"

Even though he and Valkyrie were now officially dating, Fletcher never seemed to be able to get enough of Tanith Low. Yet somehow, Valkyrie was alright with his infatuation. Valkyrie knew that if Fletcher tried anything Tanith would drop kick him to Timbuktu. Apparently she had done it before but for different reasons (and not to Fletcher).

"Skul and Ghastly not here yet?" she said looking around.

"No not yet," Valkyrie replied.

"Jesus if you didn't know any better you'd think they were ga- Ghastly!" she was cut off by Ghastly's head popping out the front door.

"Sorry Skulduggery parked round back," he smiled in greeting at his guests. "What were you saying Tanith?

Tanith tried desperately to laugh it off. "Oh," she laughed nervously. "Eh, nothing y'know? Just making small talk!"

Ghastly raised his eyebrows sceptically, but stood aside to let his guests in.

As Valkyrie, Fletcher and Tanith walked in, Skulduggery was in the bathroom. This really was the first time he had been alone to contemplate the changes he had been through. He had gotten his body back. He sat on the edge of the bath. But what did that mean? How in the name of everything he had been through was he supposed to solve this mystery? Well with Valkyrie and Tanith here maybe he could finally find out. He left the bathroom and went straight into the kitchen and made a beeline for the fridge.

Sifting through the contents of the fridge he found everything needed to be micro waved, toasted, oven cooked or grilled. _Damn I'm hungry_, he thought. He remembered back to the 1800s where if you got fed twice a day you were considered lucky. And now look at him. Barely an hour after lunch and he was hungry again.

"Skul!"

Skulduggery jerked and hit his head off the top of the fridge. He turned around to see the leather clad Tanith laughing at his head verses fridge showdown. Surprise and confusion masked his face until he moulded it into a slightly bemused expression. He smiled and hugged Tanith in greeting.

"Hey Tanith, long time no see." Hello... what was this he was feeling? "How've you been? They stepped back.

"Oh y'know, nothing Professor Grouse couldn't handle," she laughed.

"Where's Valkyrie?"

"In the living room with Fletcher and Ghastly. Has he told you anything?"

"Not even a speck of useful information has been given to me by anyone... except that Michael Jackson died."

"I know right? I had tickets to his concert in London and all!"

They walked into the sitting room but Skulduggery stopped short when he spotted Valkyrie. She had grown, well that's what happens after two years, but her eyes had hardened and her coat... there was something strange going on with her coat. Like it was collecting shadows.

"Hey guys, look who I found!" Tanith dragged Skulduggery the rest of the way. He was still staring at the hem of Valkyrie's coat.

"Skulduggery!" Valkyrie squealed. She ran over and threw her arms around his neck. As she stepped back she noticed the smile on Skulduggery's face didn't meet his eyes. What was wrong with him?

"Hello, Valkyrie," he replied as she squinted slightly at his face. "Anything interesting happen while I was... away?"

This statement made her forget Skulduggery's expression instantly. She felt she was going to explode. She needed a way to tell Skulduggery everything at once. Hastily Ghastly stood up. "I'll make some tea," he suggested and left the room.

Minutes later, five mugs of tea and coffee and a plate of biscuits (as per usual in an Irish home) lay spread out on the table. Valkyrie watched Skulduggery savour his coffee. He had never tasted it before. When he had been alive for the twenty six years he had only tried tea once (and hated the stuff) and only because he had broken into Lord Vile's house looking for information the box of tea had 'just been sitting there'. He said it had been too good an opportunity to pass up. After half an hour of small talk Valkyrie sat forward.

"Alright Skulduggery what basically happened was-"

Ghastly's phone rang. Valkyrie howled in frustration. She had been looking for an opening the last half hour! He passed it to Skulduggery after answering it. "It's for you. And charge your phone for God's sake."

Skulduggery raised an eyebrow. "Hello?"

"Hello, Detective," a velvety female voice wafted into his ear. "I hear you've left the cinema." China's disapproving tone was evident. "Where are you now?"

"Ghastly's," he replied, leaning back into his chair. "About to find out how I got back so..."

"Fine, catch up on the history. Afterwards i may have a case for you."

"By the looks of things I'll see you tomorrow."

He hung up and looked at Valkyrie. "Okay first things first," Skulduggery pointed to the hem of Valkyrie's coat. "I see you've changed disciplines. Who's your instructor?"

"Wreath." Valkyrie's eyes widened. He noticed already?

"I see," he waved a hand. "Carry on."

Valkyrie took a breath and began to speak.


End file.
